The Best Dinner Ever!!

My:

Ola girls :) I just finished having dinner with my frens. most of them are my classmates. the rest are my classmates' girlfren or boyfren. hahaha. spent FOUR hours cooking 4 stuffs: tumis kangkung, soto tangkar, ayam goreng + sambal, fuyunghai. so so so tired. when my frens come i let them talk first for a while when i have a shower (because i was so busy cooking, i don't have time for shower). but i should say, it's worth it!!! :D :D :D :D you don't know (and it's impossible to know exactly) how happy i am with their coming to my house and appreciate my cooking. i'm really happy they like indonesian food. and four hours of cooking just feel like nothing, you know :)

i am a pessimistic person by nature. and also a negative thinker by nature. melancholic by nature. but i try my hardest to look at the bright side of the world most of the time now. and maybe, because of that, i also attract all the positive persons :) you know, i'm so tired being at the dark side of the street. worrying about whether this or that person really care about me, and how they see me in their eyes. how i can say the right words, say the right topic, say the right opinion. but with this kind of person, i don't have to worry about those things anymore. they're open minded. they don't think much or gossiping much about other persons. (ps: i truly hate those -south-east asian things where they talk about everything about other people) with them, i feel that my horizon is expanding... very far until you can't see anything beyond it. i feel great and i feel so free :)

you know, i talk to my psychiatrist (ok, i'm now seeing a shrink now :p because i'm a little bit mentally disturbed). and i said to her how i want to change. how i feel so fed up with all i have in indonesia (not literally everything..). how i want to get rid of the things i dislike and start doing things i like, only :) well, that's not completely possible, but i really want to do it, you know. now, i feel that i'm on the right track, and now, i can confirm, if i stop worrying about things, i'll be just fine. i'll be fine, and i'll be great. after years of mental depression, i want to break free and taste life, live it till the fullest.

emang agak susah dijelasin ya... tapi apa yang aku rasain sekarang, bener2 sesuatu yang... besar... ada feeling yang ngedorong aku buat jadi lebih, lebih, lebih terus tiap hari. lakuin apa yang harus aku lakuin. berusaha ngelakuin apa yang ga pernah aku lakuin :) aku uda ga mau terlalu mikirin hal2 negatif yang aku liat di sekelilingku (ok, itu emang susah banget, terutama karena aku uda sangat terbiasa untuk ngelakuin itu). tapi, sekarang, aku mau lebih open minded. ngelakuin hal2 yang ga pernah aku lakuin sebelumnya dan lebih terbuka nerima ide2 baru dari sekelilingku.

tau ga, hari ini, weiwei has dinner with the potential girlfriend. even without i want to think about it, aku inggeeet aja terus sama hal itu. yah, hal itu buat aku sedih, buat aku sebel (makanya tadi pagi waktu di gym, olahraganya kenceng banget soalnya aku marah2 gitu emosinya. haha). tapi ya, on second thought, klo aku pikir semua itu hanya dengan akal aja, sebetulnya ga terlalu deket ma dy itu lebih baik. lebih baik jangan terlalu deket ma orang yang sukanya ngomel doang... well, there are things of him which i thought will drive me crazy.. hm, sorry ya girls, klo aku kesannya kaya mengasihani n menangisi diri sendiri. but for some parts, i feel that it's quite difficult to erase the bitterness completely from my head and heart (even though i already succesfully put other layers of great memories above it)

....

anyway, just want to tell u i'm fine and i'll be great. hope u will as well :)


goede avond :)