Setelah post yang terlalu berapi2 dan emosional kemaren... I thought a lot about myself. And sadly, I should say, that to be happy requires a lot of efforts. I did try my hardest to be happy, but when I suddenly remember the unhappy thing, in a moment, I'll be unhappy again. Wew, ternyata emang bener, perkataan bahwa kebahagiaan itu bukan sesuatu yang kamu dapat, tapi kamu perjuangkan. hahahaha.
Yah, pada intinya, I admit that I'm having some personal crisis in myself now... And I can't talk about it now. I just feel that it will be too immature for me to whine over everything.. This time, I really want to stand up for myself coz that's the only right thing to do. And the other thing that I really want to learn is in life, there's always another cup of tea you can look up to. But in the end, you can only have one cup of tea and you can't change it. So, you just have to struggle very hard to be satisfied with it and try very hard to enjoy your tea as best as you can.... I realize this just now (even though I've known about it before); and this revelation just makes me feel so foolish. I have a lot of wonderful things around me that I can enjoy, but why do I keep on looking on the broken chair in front of me and cry over it? It's stupid!! Now, I just feel the urge to go out and be happy and have some fun and really enjoy the world as it is! It's sad to realize that you miss all the beautiful things in your life coz you keep on imprisoning your thoughts on useless things...
This way, I want to move on and hold my head up high and smile as wide as I can. Not only because that's the only thing I can do, but because I want to love and appreciate myself more.. That way, I believe, the time will come when I finally find people who really appreciate me for all the good qualities I have. Not only criticizing me for what I do.. I worth much more than that. And I'll make sure that I'll get proper appreciation out of it.
Nightz :)
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